Things I'll Never Ask For But Want
by Skylark Evanson
Summary: Really, I do like Tim. I could possibly even love Tim. But he doesn't make it easy for me to love him. I get frustrated more than anything else when I'm with him.


**A/N: Alright, hi, here's my first attempt at writing WonderBird. Wish this fic luck.**

**Disclaimer: Still not owning YJ.**

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_**Things I'll Never Ask For But Want**_

He's engulfed in whatever we're watching. And it's nice that he can throw himself into something whole-heartedly. I like it, really. He's passionate about certain things, and he doesn't mess around with it. He's serious about it.

I think that's some of the beauty of Tim being Robin. He's so passionate about it that he's fine with it being all-consuming. It's almost his whole life at this point, like he has no dreams for anything beyond Robin except becoming the Big Bat. That's probably his life goal, I would think. We don't talk about it much.

We don't talk about a lot of things much. I've realized this. We talk about... material things. Every day things, within the realm of ordinary. Talk about missions and training and compare mentors and notes and fighting styles. We don't always talk about the intangibles, like love, goals, feelings, wishes, dreams.

And I'm not saying that's all I ever want to talk about. It'd just be nice to talk about something that doesn't involve our alternate lives. He told me his first name. He's shown me his eyes. Beyond that, he's simply Robin: a boy with a name, a cape, and a mask that saves Gotham.

And I'm Cassie with blue eyes and a whole open book of a life all out in front of him to read and comment on and ask about. But he doesn't want to dig so deep. Because why should he bother?

He cares. I know he cares. He tells me I'm special and lets me know I'm pretty and reminds me that I'm his. But there are a lot of things I want beyond that.

And I sound so terribly selfish.

But I mean, even right now, he's engrossed in this show or movie or whatever it is and can't he give me a little bit more attention? Talk a little bit about the movie, a couple comments here and there- interaction is what I guess I'm asking for. Or maybe he can let me sit on his lap. I'm on the other side of the couch with my feet up because he decided to perch as far away from me as humanly possible. Thanks, Timmy.

But hey, I can't be offended. My justification for him is that he shows love in a different way than other people. He's not like me, where cuddling is how I show people I care and when petnames are my way to display affection. That's just not Tim.

No, Tim is the guy who'll text me in the middle of the night to say goodnight even though he's supposed to be patrolling. He's the kind of guy who'll show up with a box of my favorite candy and just hand it to me without any real acknowledgement. He remembers the dumb little things I say and brings it up later nonchalantly and surprises me entirely with his memory. He doesn't kiss me hello and sometimes kisses me goodbye. He doesn't hug much. He doesn't like eye contact. Timmy's a sweet guy, but he's certainly nothing like any boyfriend out of a movie. He avoids and shrugs things off and doesn't take hints.

Really, I do like Tim. I could possibly even love Tim. But he doesn't make it easy for me to love him. I get frustrated more than anything else when I'm with him.

What do I want from him? Pfft.

Okay, he's so absorbed in this show. I want some commentary. I want to hear his voice. More than anything, I want to sit close to him, on him if I could. I'd love to hold his hand. I'd want him to kiss my hair at the cute parts of the movie. And when the characters kiss, I want him to kiss me. Take my face and kiss me real hard. I don't even know why.

Okay, maybe I do: because I want him to want to. I want those characters kissing on-screen to make him want to kiss me. But so far, that hasn't happened.

Tim's a great guy. I'm sure there's a better guy out there, but not one who's a hero and who would understand my lifestyle. And I do care about Tim, I really like Tim. But I want him to treat me in certain ways that I can't just outright ask for. There has to be some sort of invitation- body language, verbal, something- before I'd feel comfortable approaching him about this stuff.

But again, I justify his actions. People show affection differently. I call him all sorts of cute names, he just calls me Cass. I'm all on board for cuddling and making out, he'd rather sit on opposite ends of the couch. I want to just do something fun together, he's got us cooped up inside watching whatever this is.

I want so much. But it's not like I'm asking for flowers and chocolates every second of the day. Still, I sound selfish and greedy. I have these ideals, but these are things that I'm afraid Tim can't live up to. And maybe it's because of his secret identity thing, but I don't think I'll ever be sure of who he is outside of the mask. Not really, anyways.

It's not like I haven't tried dropping hints. I've stared at his lips for far longer than what's deemed socially appropriate. I've been extra flirty, touching his hands a bit more and batting my eyes. I've gotten so incredibly close to him that I could easily kiss him, but he makes no move. I've tried. He understands computers and evidence and logic, but he cannot fully grasp the full human emotional spectrum or the body language that comes along with it.

And my consciousness suddenly stirs out of these thoughts as I feel his hands on my shoulders, he's behind me, rubbing the knots out of my muscles for a few moments. "How're you holding up, Cass?" he asks in a low voice that sends my heart into a frenzy, faster than a hummingbird's little wings. "Need anything?"

I have to clear my throat and take a few deep breaths before responding, "No, I'm alright, thanks."

He smiles and I can hear it. Then his hands pull away and I feel him kiss my head slightly. "Alright. I'll be back in a second." He reaches to play with a few strands of my hair for a moment before leaving. And I watch him go.

Then he goes and does stuff like that and I know I love him. He's sweet. He's cute. He's a great guy. He's such a great guy. He just doesn't show his love the way other people do.

And I think I'm started to be okay with that. He drives me crazy sometimes and frustrates me so much, but he's just different. I'm learning to live with his quirks and differences.

He comes back a minute or so later with two sodas, one for me, one for him. "Your favorite," he says, putting one on a coaster on the table in front of us. "Just in case you want it." And I honestly don't remember telling him that was my favorite. But he knows somehow.

He settles back in away from me and lets the tv draw him in again. He cracks his own open and takes a sip before putting it on a second coaster.

And I want to kiss him to say "thank you" but I can't. I swallow the urge and look at the tv even though my attention is a thousand miles away. There are so many things I'll never ask for but want. Even the simple stupid things. A hello kiss. A "thank you" kiss. Some cuddling. Some intimate conversation.

But Timmy's different. And I have to be patient and wait for him to open up to me. I won't push. I won't ask.

But there's a list of things I want. Things he's not quite living up to. I'm selfish and greedy, but I do love my Timmy. And I'll wait and behave and let him show his love in his own way. Because I'm starting to be okay with it.

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**A/N: Alright, hope that was okay. I have a hard time writing them. Anyways, please leave a review, thanks (:**

**~Sky**


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